Self-Care is Not Selfish!

Since May is Mental Health Awareness month we wanted to try to break the stigma associated with the fact that some people feel “self-care” is selfish and explain why we feel your mental health is just as important as your physical or spiritual well-being. Self-care is such a common expression nowadays. In theory, self-care seems like a simple concept though right? Create a little time each doing something that brings you joy or happiness. Yet despite how “simple” it sounds it's so many of us constantly put our self-care on the back burner. If you're anything like us, it's probably because you feel like you don't have enough time during your day to treat your self... any free time we have seems like it's used to just pee in privacy or drink our coffee while it's still hot. But guys, the benefits are real, there is SO much research out there that proves self-care positively affects your mood, health, and can even decrease anxiety. Taking care of yourself is far from being selfish. 

As of late, our days feel so insanely busy. Our days consist of putting our babies, households, jobs/school, & husbands first and often ourselves last. We LOVE our roles as mothers and wives, and even on our worst days we wouldn’t trade these roles for the world. We know we aren’t the only moms out there juggling different roles and responsibilities. We are certain so many of you can relate to us when we say it’s become so EASY to give so much of ourselves to everyone and everything else in our lives…we also know so many of you can agree that you do this without even thinking about our own wants or needs. Something we've recently wondered, "is it really wrong to ALWAYS put everyone else first?" We both genuinely love giving and helping the people in our lives, such as our families and friends, which is why for us it often feels silly or selfish when we do partake in self-care.

One of our favorite Instagram bloggers, Taking Cara Babies, recently posted a video on her Insta-story about self-care that really hit home for us. This was her message: Imagine a big glass of water, the water being a representation of your life. Each time a little water pours out of the glass that equates to you doing something for others. Your glass of water starts out full, but then the baby is hungry (some water pours out), or the bills need to get paid (more water pours out), or your husband needs help with dinner (now all of a sudden, your glass is half-full). Even though you love doing things for other people, before you know it all the water in your glass is gone and you have nothing or less left to give.

It might sound silly, but don’t let your glass get empty. Fill your glass up by engaging in self-care activities that make you happy or feel good. It’s so important that you have something to replenish all the love you give to everyone else around you. Honestly, we know that when we are the best versions of ourselves we can better fulfill our roles as mothers, wives, nurses, etc. Self-care needs to be recognized as a necessary component to life in order to whole-heartedly take care of others.

If you head over to Instagram and check out #selfcare hashtags, you will find millions of pictures of people engaging in self-care. You will also notice that everyone’s definitions of self-care are completely different. Some people feel that self-care means working out, while others feel it means indulging in some serious retail therapy. Regardless of what self-care looks like for you, making sure you actively plan for it is step #1. If you only take care of yourself after your to-do list is complete and everything is in order, it won’t ever happen! Add self-care activities to your calendar and don’t let cancelling on yourself become a habit. It should be treated just as plans with friends or family--as in, don’t stand yourself up. 

We’ve compiled some ideas for you:

Eat Well. This doesn't mean you need to drive yourself crazy and munch on organic kale for three meals of the day, and PLEASE don't start counting calories, but changing one or two "bad food habits" can go a long way.

-Nourish your body by consuming nutrient-dense foods.

-Try cooking a fun new recipe.

-Drink 8+ glasses of water per day.

-Choose organic when possible.

-Meal prep to take the guesswork out of eating. This also lessens the chance of resorting to a drive-thru due to a lack of planning.

Tech Detox. We can be just as bad as anybody when it comes to our phones. Again, little changes can go a long way and can turn into lifetime habits!

-Dive into a good book or read a magazine.

-Don't start or end your day by looking at social media.

-Lessen your time on your devices. Have a "no" list and start by not having your phone out while playing with your kids, and not taking emails, calls or texts at the dinner table.

-Journal, meditate, or pray.

Exercise. This doesn’t mean you need to become a marathon-runner, but getting up and moving every day helps improve your physical health and mental health. 

-Take a walk. Vitamin D and fresh air do wonders for the mind, body and soul. If you have a furry friend, we’re sure he or she will be happy to join.

-Take a yoga class.

-Go dancing.

-Park further away from your favorite stores than you normally would and get the extra walk in.

-Take the stairs.

-Exercise with a friend. It makes it a lot more fun!

Get enough ZZZs! This can be especially hard for new mommas (as we are finding out the hard way).

-If you have a young child, try reaching out to a friend or family for help with baby while you take an extra half hour to rest.

-Meditate, sip on some chamomile tea and unwind.

-Wash your face then read in bed.

-If your day allows for it, don't just make nap time for the kiddos, join in!

-Avoid alcohol oftentimes before bed. It can disrupt sleep cycles.

-Don't get in the habit of pressing "snooze". Set the alarm for the time you need to wake-up and get up. Setting the alarm clock earlier and allowing 2-3 times of hitting "snooze" disrupts sleep cycles.

Get Social. Make sure the people you spend time with bring out the best in you and make you feel great. If it stresses you out, it's time to re-think the people you spend your time with.

-If you are in a relationship, have a date night.

-Go out with girlfriends, even it’s just for an hour or for a cup of coffee.

-Call your family, try out a new restaurant in town

-Sign up for a new class through your local Community Ed.

Indulge and Pamper Yourself. Just do it!

-Shopping! Head out to your favorite stores, or pour yourself a glass of wine and go some online shopping from your bed :)

-Get a mani or pedi

-Take a bath: doors locked, candles burning, soft music playing--the whole nine yards!

-Catch up on your DVR and enjoy a show

-Plan a fun weekend get away and get ready to feel refreshed and recharged.

-Buy. The. Shoes. :)

Here is what Self-Care looks like for us...

Self-Care for us comes in the form of hiking,

girl talk over a nice glass of wine, 

or taking a quiet bath ALONE haha.

...until you hear the baby start to cry ;) 

We hope this post helped all those selfless super moms out there! As always we would love to hear any stories surrounding your personal experiences with mental health challenges or your favorite ways to engage in self care.